Whiskey for the Leprechauns! Whiskey for the Leprechauns!

I always greet St. Patrick's Day with equal parts giddy anticipation and unequivocal fear. It's a holiday that starts out with the best intentions (having a "roast turkey dinner" aka Guinness) but usually ends up with someone going to the hospital or climbing through my window. Each year, I shudder with the knowledge that some crazy freaked-out thing is going to happen to me and I have absolutely no control over it. Some say the loonies come out on Halloween, in my world, however, they wait for a holiday that revolves around getting good and liquored up. Game on.

The other thing that has remained constant throughout the years is my "Luck of the Irish" speech. It was first delivered so brilliantly by John Belushi on SNL and I have tried to carry on the tradition. In elementary and high school, I simply recited the speech for anyone who would listen, and most people didn't get it. But, by the time I got to college, it quickly became a thing of legend--requiring me to stand on the roof top of a house or two in order to re-enact the scene for a larger audience. In recent years, I've taken the show on the road. St. Patrick's Day 2002 was spent driving by myself from Tennessee to Alabama. I decided to stop in Chattanooga for the grandest setting the speech has ever seen. ROCK CITY. Here, amongst the fake stalagtites and super creepy talking gnomes, I gave the speech to SEVEN STATES at once. It was a triumphant day and one that I won't soon forget.

This year, I'll be spending St. Patrick's Day with a few close friends. Clearly the speech will be given, maybe not from a roof top, and maybe not from a mountain top--but from the top of my lungs and the bottom of my heart.