If I'm Dating You, I'm Probably Cheating on You

Apparently, 41% of women who drive Audi's are unfaithful. Sorry, it's just our way.

But You Did Sue Me!

This post is mad messed up. Just deal.

I know everyone has been eagerly awaiting the stories from the Skynyrd show last weekend but I wanted to wait till I could post some pictures...more to follow.
FYI to see the framed pictures, right click on them and chose "Show Picture" why it's doing this, I have no idea.

It doesn't take a red-neck hopped up on Wild Turkey and speed to know that Skynyrd rules. Their fans are some of the liveliest of any band anywhere. We met a family that had three generations with them. It was moving. We totally represented the South too. I wore and Alabama t-shirt (Roll Tide!). The J Bizzie had on a Tennesee shirt and Elaine was representing the Lone Star State.
As is tradition with any trip to A-town, we stopped at Yocco's where, for the first time in 20 years I changed my order and found love for the LOVE BURGER. Very fabulous.
When we arrived in Hershey, we immediately started setting up camp. We brought a cooler filled with beers and Jack; chips and salsa. And of course "the box" with a full arsenal of Skynyrd tunes to jam out to during our tail-gate fiesta.
Half way through .38 Special, we finshed our drinks and headed into the show. But we were stopped by security because Elaine had a camera. But it was cool cause we were just like, looks like we can have another beer on our way back. Here's the part where we ran into "the crazies" (we never have an adventure without them)
These guys approched us (one was wearing a t-shirt that said "Girls Lie") and started some drunk small talk. "Girls Lie" guy is blathering on about something and every other word out of his mouth is "tits." Then he procedes to introduce us to his "brother" who isn't really his brother but you know... Apparently, they're still "brothers" even though the one guy SHOT the "Girls Lie" guy in the leg. Oh yeah. They were drunk and playing with guns. These things will happen. So the "Girls Lie" guy turns to the other and says, "ya know, I coulda sued you..." and the other guy says, "You did sue me...." "Yeah, well I coulda sued ya for more....and that bitch wife of yours..." And about now we're just staring at eachother trying not to laugh and these people. Finally, they went away and we laughed and decided going back the car had been more than worth it.

The show was awsome I screamed and sang throught the whole thing. J-man and I danced to "I know a Little." I flashed the peace sign a bunch and when my lighter broke during "Simple Man" (and of course I was crying cause that song always makes me cry) this nice guy gave me his so I wouldn't be without one for Free Bird. It was a real coming together. The crown chanted USA-USA as large shirtless men wrapped in American Flags ran around the audiance. They wre selling cotton candy in the stands (only in PA). It was the greatest. They played most of the songs I wanted to here. They played "MCA" and "Travelin'Man" which was just ridiculous.
Skynyrd Rules. Everyone should go to a Skynyrd show. I'll be damned if it doesn't make ye a better person.

What Guys Write on Friendster When They're Trying to Get the Ladies to Notice Them (Alternate Title: How Funny is This?)

Bachelor # 1. "Well Rounded aka the Straight Shooter"
I'm a young professional living in NYC who enjoys going out. I like trying new restaurants and checking out new hot spots in the city. I try to be fairly active on the weekends. I like to get up early and not waste the day. I love to work out and have recently become a bit of a health nut. Althuogh I still do love to indulge at times too. I like hanging out in big crowds (with either my friends or other people's friends) but also enjoy spending time with a girl over a bottle of wine and a movie or with my good friends just kicking back a few beers. I'm a pretty easy going guy and a straight shooter ...at least I'd like to think.
Always looking for more people to go out with and have a good time. On the lady front, I'm just interested in meeting some cool girls. Especially interested to see if there is a girl out there with the same likes as me and is just cool to hang out with. Not sure if I'm ready to settle down but if its right, its right.
Bachelor #2: "I Look Good on Paper, Here's My AIM Address, Oh and P.S. I'm a Total Asshole"
I'm about graduate from Columbia with a BS in EE and from Williams with a BA in History and Physics... not bad for 5 years of work. At the beginning of August, I'll be moving down to DC, where I'll be attending George Mason Law School for the next 3 years.
I'm an INTJ, with all that entails...

I think my friends do a much better job describing me than I do.

Feel free to hit me on on AIM - if you'd like to engage me in conversation.

Bachelor #3 "I'm In-Touch with an Italian Artist which Makes Me Cultured and Desirable, Now Let's Screw"
"If he wants to give the situation narrative form, he will have to organize all the elements at his disposal in a narrative progression borrowed from the literary tradition. Having thus seized the language of a situation in which human relationships are distorted, betrayed, and, generally speaking, in a state of continuous crisis, he is led to organize it according to a narrative convention that automatically masks its true fragmentary, dissociated nature with an appearance of continuity and order" (Umberto Eco, The Open Work).

It's a Crazy, Crazy World

This person is married to this person.

I never would have guessed.

Two (Perhaps Three) Jackasses: A Study

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I used to go out with this guy who was friends with Michael Bolton's daughter and consequently, spent some time at the Bolton home. Apparently, Michael, not only is a social activist, but also has quite a collection of busts...of himself. What a Jackass. Just a minute ago, I was staring at his face thinking, "hmmmm except for the hair, he's really not that bad looking...chisled features..." then, I realized that I was just really hungry and therefore not in my right mind. Still though, I think that makes me a Jackass.

Kenny G (aka Kenny Gorelick) has sold like 50 million albums. I assume these albums were bought by foreingers. He plays like 20 different instuments, but then again, so does Prince who's beyond cool. Could it be that Kenny G is trying to steal Prince's persona? Check it out, he even grew some stubble. FYI Kenny, not shaving for a week doesn't give you street cred, and don't even attempt pulling off no assed jeans, it's not going to work. Jackass.
These two Jackasses are playing two shows at Jones beach...TOGETHER. I think they're calling it EASY LISTENING AID.

Say What?

Leave it to those creepy little elves to come up with this:
The new Cheez-It Twister commercial goes a little something like this. "Pop them in your mouth, and then they go down South." Yummers.

The Greatest Show on Earth (and Possibly Jupiter)

When this season of Everwood ended, I didn't think I could go on. Could there be life after Ephram? I thought not, but amazingly, I was wrong. The WB came through in a clutch and gave us "The WB's Superstar USA". It's pretty much the best reality show since The Surreal Life. And, ToneLoc is in it so, I mean, if that doesn't scream BEST SHOW EVA, I don't know what does.
There's another episode on tonight. I, of course will be glued to the tube. Will Randy realize his dream of becoming Britney Spears? Will Rosa say something coherent? Will somebody ask about the Anglo Assassin? I'm going to find out.

Today's Featured Liquor

Jack Daniels, JD, Gentleman Jack, John. This beverage has more monikers than Ol' Blue Eyes. Jack Daniels is Today's Featured Liquor for obvious reasons (Skynyrd mentioning whiskey in at least 80% of their songs being the obvious reason). You can do so many things with this liquor. You can cook with it (Jack's Holiday Whiskey Balls)you can sterilize medical intruments with it, you can trade it for land, hell, you can even drink it. Here are 124 drink recipies calling for Mr Daniels. My favorites are the Pass Out and the Deer Killer.. But really it's best swilled straight from the bottle in the back of a pick-up with good friends...and of course, Skynyrd.

Skynyrd Forever

Lynyrd Skynyrd is the greatest Southern Rock band ever, and they're one of my all time favorite bands. We're heading out to see them in Hershey, Pa. this weekend. We thought there would be a party bus taking all the Hill-Billies out there (and J tried his best to find it)but alas, there was none to be found. So we're just going to drive and have to put a cap on our "poison whiskey" comsumption.

It's going to be awsome. I will be listening to nothing but Skynyrd till the concert tomorrow which will annoy my co-workers but whatevs. Jarratt and I will be rooting through our closets trying to find our old Skynyrd T-shirts. But in case we can't, I have a back up. Last year I made a "Re-Birth of the South" inspired 4th of July T-shirt. It says ALABAMA on the front and I wrote Roll Tide on the back of it in red sparkles. I also put ribbons on it. It pretty much rules.

This is the bar in Jacksonville that inspited "Gimme Three Steps"
The drummer of this band is named Artimus Pyle. Clearly, that will be the name of my first born son since it's the greatest name ever.

There are alot of people who don't inderstand my love for Skynyrd. The first weekend of my college career, I went to this frat party at the most WASPY rich fraternity in the universe. I was in the basment gettnig a beer when "Sweet Home Alabama" came on the stereo. I was so delighted that I sreamed out SKYNYRD FOREVER! and at that very moment the record screached to a hault and I was cast out of the fancy party. If you want to be cast out of fancy parties and/or get mad respect the next time you're at a honky-tonk bar, I suggest you by the album Gold and Platinum immidiatado. It's the best mix of Skynyrd ever put together.

Skynyrd goes really well with beer. I plan on drinking alot of beer tomorrow night. Here's a list of songs I want them to play:
Gimmie Back my Bullets
I Know a Little
Don't ask Me No Questions
Down South Jukin'
Simple Man
Whiskey Rockin' Roller
Poison Whiskey
Wino
Double Trouble
You Got That A-Right
T for Texas
and clearly Sweet Home and Free Bird.

She's Crafty

I bet someone from Canada made these. Genius and festive.

These Things Happen, But They Shouldn't/Shit I Saw on the Subway This Morning

* If you're a supper hottie/mec don't wear ugly shoes. You're ruining it for yourself and everyone else.
*Just because you're using a tissue, doesn't mean you're not picking your nose.
*If you're gonig to do some rocking-out air guitar style, it's best to make sure there's no one in your "windmill" range. You'll just look like an ass when you hit the suit next to you.
*Don't stare at me if I'm pole dancing to Depeche Mode at 8:30 in the morning, I do what I want.
*There's no word for BRITNEY in Chinese

It Was Great even from the Line for the Bathroom

It was a good show. They did a Guided By Voices cover which ruled and it was nice to see a band that was just playing their music and having fun. I'm pretty sure a good time was had by all. I really love Summer Stage, it's a really great venue. Other great things about last night include the change in the weather and my feet not getting wet.
Afterwords, I met up with The One and Only Panda for some champers which, as always, was lovely.

What Would Kirk Do?

As a child of the '80s, I was a huge fan when you were on Growing Pains, so I was very happy to see you return in Left Behind--especially in that setting and context. As a believer myself (and a lover of the books), I was wondering how religion has made an impact in your life.

Religion hasn't, God has! Religion makes me ralph...God makes me rejoice!.

Right. For many other pumpkin positive !exclamations! by Kirk check this out. God wants you to.
Special thanks to Jessica Lee Jernigan
To check out Kirk's website which, I shit you not, is called The Way of the Master, complete with "What Would Jesus Do" insignia, go here. God wants you to do that too.

Ya Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't Have It!

Happy Birthday Pete Townshend. Don't worry, no one beleives that child porn thing. You're super-ultra-mega!
The Who is such a right on band. When I was little, I made my parents buy "tickets" to watch me dance around the living room to "The Seeker" and other classics (but never "Squeeze Box," that seemed kind of obscene)Thems were the days.

Who's That LOVE

A few people have been asking me about my boyfriend who's coming in from Utah, like he's real or something. Duh, ya'll. It's Ephram. Clearly. I mean everyone knows I live just shy of reality so why would this be any different? Loves to everyone who beleived me, maybe someday.

More Concerts, Please

This fabulous band Lexiblu is playing tonight at The Lizard Lounge on West 54th Street at 8pm.

You should go and see them cause they're fabulous and they're family. I'd be there bopping my head and listening to their amazing lyrics but I'm seeing the Strokes in Central Park, that is if Zeus stops throwing lightning bolts.

Maybe This is Why I've Been Getting So Much Play...

Watch them crawl out of the ground after 17 years, oohhh and aahhh at how crazy nature can be and then eat them. Tastes like potato and avacado. Yumtastic!

Mandy Goes Smindie

I have such great love for Ms. Moore. She's super-ultra-mega. She's not trying to run around like she's older than she is which is a nice change of pace from all those untalented annoyances who seem to think that because they've been on one crappy television show or another they should suddenly be treated as spiritual leaders. She's so much more, "Whateva, I do what I want." which is fabulous. I own all of her movies, obvioulsy. Here's another reason why she's fab:
"I have no expectations, and people out there really have no expectations because I haven't had great musical success. So that allows me the freedom and creativity to do whatever I want."
How cool is that?
So she dumped Epic and signed with Sire. e.g. she's gone smindie (semi-indie). Brava!

Orangejello and Lemonjello

Tams actually knows people with these names. Zazo. Here are some other horrific names, right about now, Tanqueray isn't sounding so bad...

I Was Really Pulling For Istambul

Hurray! The NYC made it to the final round in the race to host the 2012 Summer Olympics. The City is going head to head with London, Madrid, Moscow and Paris. It's all very exciting....now all we need is 3.6 billion dollars to make it happen.
I went to the official Olympic website. The site encourages us to celebrate humanity. Cool. Guess who they want us to celebrate humanity with: Nelson Mandela, Andrea Bocelli, Christopher Reeve and Avril Lavigne (?). Ok, cause Avril Lavigne celebrates humanity in what way? Well I guess by using all that charcoal eyeliner, she's contributing to the GNP of some third world nation. Right on Avril!

Weekend The What's Up

The What's up for the weekend was def the party for Stelz at SWAY. We danced (some of us on top of banquets), the champers flowed. Blackout Dan tried to pick up girls with boyfriends. I tried to fend off not so cute guys while simutaniously begging very-cute-attached-guy to set me up with some of his very-cute-unattached-guy friends. Pictures were taken. Outkast was played entirely too much. Stellastarr* and the Killers were not played because according the dude spinning the discs, people wouldn't know it. Really, cause you just played Jet and that seemed to go over well. That song was in an ipod commercial. Oh. Can I buy you a drink? We smoked inside (yay). We danced some more. And some more. We closed down the place. Blackout Dan and I went to another bar where he told stories he shouldn't have been telling to people he shouldn't have been telling them to. I made out with boys. It was the hottness.

I also took the bus on Sunday TWICE! I'd only taken the bus once before. It was great. I love the bus. It's my new best friend. We took alot of pictures of our feet and everyone eeeewwwed and cheered as I did my Moose Trick. Then we stood on the corner and spontaniously broke out into song. Loves to warm nights and to Amy who thought that Prince was singing Real Men Call Back instead of Little Red Corvette up until like 3 years ago.

Hit the Ground Running

The J-mizzi just called to inform me that Godzilla (aka Godzirha) just showed up in Midtown. Sweet. Now we can all go home. Ready, set, flee. Does anyone know a good movie I can pick up on my way?

Everybody Loves Blackout Dan

Around these parts, it's very rare that one gets slapped with a new nickname and it sticks--I think we have a winner here.
Introducing Blackout Dan. We'll be following his exploits, as they're often funny.
On friday, we were standing in front of a bar when three Abercrombie hopefulls past by. As they did, he shouted, "this girl needs to take a duke." They told him he needed a muzzel. Blackout Dan has no recolection of this. A few minutes later, this guy walks up to us to ask for a light. The guy had a thick Mexican accent. Blackout Dan, imitating this accent said, "This bitch is giving me a hassel, man, a real hassel. Are you listening to me, man." They guy ran away. Blackout Dan doesn't remember this at all. Thanks Blackout Dan. We look forward to hearing from you again.

I Feel Doomed and My Life is Meaningless...But at Least I'm Not These People

It's no secret, celebrities can often be characterized as stupid. They say and do stupid things all the time, just like the rest of us (like last week when I was like the Civil War took place in 1776, that was even funnier because I was a History major)but unlike most of us, their mishaps get plastered all over the tv, papers and internet. You're an idiot here's a million dollars.

These people are just ridiculous. Read what they have to say about the countdown to their birthday and what it was like running around the NYC in a towel. FYI ladies, a 45 year old man counting the days to your 18th birthday isn't nice, or part of being a girl- it's creeped out.
Admitedly, there's a small part of me that wants to name a future child Tanqueray, (because I like the word not the gin, I'm a Saphire girl)but this is insane.

Hey guys, you just named your child Apple. APPPLE! What the fuck?
The Jarratt thinks I should make up a quiz called "Are You a Slut? hmmmm. I'll try to work on that. In the mean time, these are mint and you can learn alot about yourself, for example, if I were an afflection, I'd be ricketts.

We're a Talented Bunch

My brother plays the rhythm guitar and I play the clarinet on the intro for Law and Order. Ok not really, but J did do a voice over for a Silly Putty commercial. Bounce it like a ball. Boom.
In other Silly Putty related news, check this out.
I had 3 Martinis, 100oz of beer and a gin and tonic last night. Clearly today things are shaky which is why I insist on posting about nothing (and by nothing I mean even more useless than normal, if that's possible).

The French Love Murray Head

It's amazing, really. This dude has a website devoted entirely to Murray Head. He's got a chat room going on and everything (fear not, he has also translated the page into English for those of you who aren't francophones). Don't get me wrong, I think Murray Head kicks ass. No doubt. But the amount of energy this guy put into this website is mind boggling (note that at this juncture, it doesn't take a whole lot to boggle my mind).

Pepsi Is UnAmerican

I have alot of theories. Here's one of them: Until about 1972, New Jersey didn't really exist. Aliens came down from space with a giant peice of land, put chips in everyone's noses (these chips contain the histostorical information which is now regarded as "truth") and are now trying to populate Earth. I've had a hard time proving this.
Another one that I subscribe to is that my friends and I are one step from being famous. We've proven this one many times. Here's another example: A friend of mine played basketball with Billy Crudup yesterday. Nothing eles needs to said.

Time and a Word...and a Few Martinis Too

Tonight is the big YES concert at MSG. Jarratt and I are very excited about the whole thing. YES is such a fantastic band. Each and every member in musically gifted in a way that is unparalled by most of today's rock and rollers (nobody rocks the double-necked guitar like Christopher Squire). All of their songs are positive and full of an energy that is both uplifting and meaningful. YES is a prog-rock band so I can say things, like "uplifing" and "meaningful."
We last saw them in 2002 at Jones Beach. There was a point during Heart of the Sunrise where I actually thought I could fly.
Other thoughts on YES include my firm belief that if we sent Classic YES to all the worlds leaders, we'd find peace and understanding. I gotta get on that.
Later we're going to pound Martini's and jam out. Tears will fall, I'm sure of it.

What's Going On Over There?

Here's the part of the show where I talk about my nextdoor neighbors, aka "those crazy freaks." I'm not really sure how many people live there. At least two girls and the weird dude that loves them. They also have a dog. The dog is extrememly annoying. The dog yaps, and barks and wimpers ALL THE TIME. I feel sorry for it. Mostly because it lives with crazy people. I don't know how these people earn their livelyhoods but it's possible they're track stars. They're always running back and forth across their appartment-why?
My favorite part about living next to these people is the blood curtling sreams. Uhuh, yeah. At LEAST 5 times a day (and i'm never home so you can only imagine) one of them will let out a shreek so loud I debate going over there to make sure everything's ok. But I never do cause I know it's just because they're crazy. Sometimes, before the screams, there's a loud crash and we laugh. I've never actually met these people so it provides me with alot of entertainment--trying to figure out what's going on over there.

What? No Fucking at the HoJo?

Apparently, not anymore. A 19 year old intern claimed that an NY Assemblyman got her drunk and raped her (though later she recanted saying that her boyfriend was angry that she slept with someone else and told her to claim rape...obvioulsy). So now they might actually bring forth "legislation" that bans sexual relations between interns and Legislators. Where's the fun in that?

Happy Birthday Lauren!

Lauren is a year older today. Her favorite vegetable is bok choy. She likes sauces of all kinds. Today we had mauguritas, also a favorite but the real one is a French Martini. This is her horoscope for today (and for you if it's your birthday):

Your friends are trying to teach you something that you'd be wise to learn. You may think that you already know it, but practicing with a team helps. If you really apply yourself this year, you can advance to a whole new level. The exam comes when you realize the lessons are costing too much.

Lot's of loves to Stelz.

Some Rise, Some Fall, Some Climb...

This week we've launched head on into Summer, and with that, of course, brings a change in music. I am a firm beleiver in different music for different seasons. This is not to say that, for example, The Sunday's "Reading, Writing, Arithmetic" which is Winter music, can't be fully enjoyed during the Autumn months; it just takes on a different role, reminding us of the snow that will soon be falling.
The sultry and dewy days of Summer bring with them the passion of Salsa, the breezy relaxation of Gilberto, the deisre, evoked by the Samples, to hug a tree and of course the freedom and bouyancy that comes with the mother of all Summer bands, The Grateful Dead. Break out your tapes and head on over to Shakedown Street, it's gonna be a long, long crazy, crazy Summer.

So, If I Move to Brooklyn, I Don't Have to Work?

Yesterday, I had to go to Brooklyn on "business." When I got off the train, the surrounding immediately felt familiar: sort of foggy, warm but with a very sharp nip in the air, many young people milling about or maxin' at cafes even though it was 2:30pm on a Monday--was I in Brooklyn or had I somehow taken the super ultra bullet train out to SF? It was crazy, it was totally like a Saturday afternoon--or like everyday I lived in San Francisco. There was this one summer when we didn't have jobs and instead tooled around the streets of SF or went out to Marin County and drank marguritas at Guaymas. So fabulous. But anyway, I went out to B-lyn to pick up some extra concert tickets for Franz Ferdinand (they have many left at Earwax on Bedford and 5th). At first I was apprehendive,would they deny me tickets because I live north of 14th street? Did FF suddenly become "5 minutes ago" and nobody told me? Did it sell out already and would I have to run from the laughter of a thousand hipsters (I mean really how could you possibly think there would still be tickets available...). None of these things happened. I got my tickets. I came back to the NYC. I had moules frites. Oh wait THIS is best part of my trip over the bridge...I was walking down the street and I heard someone playing Dino. Then I was crossing the street and I notice this guy hanging out of his car sarenading me. Blush. Thanks guy, you made my day.

I Said ALL THE TIME!!

I was just reminded by this super stellar gentleman at the w-o-r-k about all music. It's really the most comprehensive music site around. Go there and melt into blissful state of music euphoria.

And to have your own music ALL THE TIME here are some helpful hints regarding making your own wind chimes.

To La Tengo Snubs the NYC

Yo La Tengo is totally dissing the East Coast in their latest string of consert dates. That's not very nice.

Arrivederci!

The Italian government sacked the entire board of directors of Alitalia. Buy your tickets now!

Funny Ha Ha or Funny Peculiar?

This guy comes up as the first hit if you type "peculiar" into google.

The other day, I was walking down the street and this gentleman, who was far from homeless, turned to me and said, "The way you're walking, it sounds like there's a serial killer behind me." What do you say to that? So I just said, "Sorry."

Yesterday, I was walking down the street and this guy sidles up to me and says, "How was your day," like he knows me. So I'm, flipping through the giant Rolodex in my head trying to place him and I must have had a very confused look on my face because then he says, "Yeah, we were just on the Subway togther..." and I realized that I didn't know him at all. To which I responded, "That's so funny...ha ha." Why?

I hope everyone has been taking advantage of the Tribeca Film Fest. Tonight we're going to see Satan's Little Helper.

My new virtual best friend: I love this guy. I've read his entire blog. He's like an old friend, an old friend who manages a strip joint. [I am about to use the phrase "wrting style"] His "writing style" has a calming affect on me. It's almost like he's a character in a movie and not a real person. Read it and perhaps you'll understand.

Everyone should own the Guess Who's Greatest Hits. "Hand Me Down World" is probably one of the gretest songs ever, as is "New Mother Nature" and if nothing eles, you can listen to "American Woman" on repeat in an attmpted to banish Lenny's horrid rendition from the corners of your mind. Canada's never been so cool.

Super Snouts

Brother Jarratt just sent me this -basically because he's always tormented me, saying I have a big nose while molding my smeller into a "vacum clearner"--and this is an extention of that tomenting. I do, however, happen to have a great deal in common with the moose, which is now my new favorite animal. Apparently, moose can close their nostrils while searching for plants under water. I too, have the ability to close my nostrils. It's true. I'm not kidding.

Woe Unto Me

This is so awsome. So I'm reading this blog written by this ultra-conservative Catholic (you can link to it below "ramblings of a crazy freak") and I decided to go to one of her links---now I'm not one to comment on other people's blogs but the spirit moved me and so I did. She was waxing poetic about how as Catholics banning abortions is the most important moral issue of our time, etc. I wrote to her and said that i'm a Catholic and pro-choice, This is what I got back. It's priceless:
What a completely uneducated and blasphemous wretch you are . . . not to mention a disgrace to the names you bare.
Woe unto you who call evil good and good evil!
You need to repent before God of the vile venom that you have in your heart towards people who simply want to see the Abortion Holocaust end.
Right.
She wrote some more stuff back to me about how we should all slit our throats...I quoted some Axl Rose in response. I highly recomend seeking out a radical blog and fighting with people over the comment section---so much fun!

cc's In Love

There is lots of love happening around me right now, lots. So first of all, I am in love with Modest Mouse's song "Float On." I've been listening to it non-stop; be-bopping all over the place. When not listening to "Float On," it's been the Killer's "Somebody Told Me" non-stop. So good. Go buy their albums, imediatado.
Also, I'm pleased to announce that the love of my life has just been accepted to Juliard. I am so psyched. As a few of you may know, I was contemplating moving to Utah to be with him, but now, I don't have to. He's coming here to the NYC on Monday--and will become the concert pianist he was meant to be. I couldn't be happier. I'm throwing him a party next friday so mark your calanders.

Now This is Real News...Not Like the Politics Slop

Well, it looks like it's splitsville for our favorite power couple, Jen and Brad. Apparently Mr. Pitt has been cavorting with one Angelina Jolie. We can all thank the One and Only Panda for this super secret celebrity gossip. Cheers darling, now everyone know *before* US comes out next week. Aren't we cheeky...

Personally, I loathe Ms. Jolie. She's bothersome for so many reasons.
What was he thinking?

The Literal Hottness

So Coachella was super-ultra-mega, obviously. Some things happened:

Before we decended upon Indio, I made a stop in LA and met up with lifetime friend, Larry. Because Larry is THE COOLEST PERSON EVER, he took me directly to In-N-Out Burger. Clearly the greatest place on earth. (oh and Larry, here's the secret menu-use it wisely). Ok so since Larry is a producer extrodinare I got to accompany him on a shoot, thereby getting to experience all the wonders of LA (including the traffic, it was awsome) in 6 and 1/2 hours. I even got to drive the car down Hollywood Blvd, while Larry shot footage out the back. AND one of his friends called me "babe." But sadly, I had to bid Larry, Snake, Fizz and Panther adieu and continue into the desert and the the literal hottness.
The shows ruled. It was mad hot. We put liquor in sun-tan lotion bottles. I did tricks.
The Stills were as amazing as the back drop. I died when they played "Still in Love Song" (I died a bunch on this trip, I also did some crying).
Death also occured during none other than Death Cab..
Stellastarr* kicked so much ass it was retarded. That set was all about realizing that being in an a positively igneous tent smelling of rotting milk just means you have to dance harder and faster, which of course I did, followed by crying.
Pixies. I can't even talk about the Pixies without having a grand mal seizure. They were beyond fabulous. I died like 10 times. They played U-Mass, Veloria, Heaven, Here Comes Your Man, Bone Machine, Gigantic, Carribou, Monkey Gone to Heaven, Debaser...and a bunch more (I'm going to try to put up some set lists as they become available).
Radiohead, obvioulsy was fantastic. They're an interesting band. Their music teeters between hopefull and depressing; at least for me..
Day Two was retarded.
Did you know that if you dance wildly to !!! in 110 degree weather, you actually feel better. It's true, try it. Amazing.
Broken Scocial Scene ruled. There was even a marriage proposal involved.
The Killers, well, killed.
There were so many bands I can't go into them all by any means so i'm gonig to skip to the coupe de gras which was clearly AIR. The sun was setting over the Rockies, and AIR was out of controll. So amazing I spazzed during "Kelly Watch the Stars" and there was some definite death happening during the most ammazing rendition of Femme D'Argent---EVER!
The Flaming Lips put on a ridiculous show.
I huge highlight for me came next. Basment Jaxx. Say what you want about them selling out I don't give a shit. They played Red Alert. I danced about like whirling dervish. Then Dizzee Rascal came on to play with them. Death occured.
The Cure. What a sophisticated band. As I was standing amongst the masses of entranced hipsters and goths, the warm desert wind grazing my shoulders, I realized that this band has the power to evoke feelings. Whether it's happiness, bitterness, lonelyness or longing each song saturates you with sentiment until you feel like you're going to succumb.
Then we went home.

Zazo

Way too tired to post about the ridiculousness that was COACHELLA. It was everything I'd hoped it would be and more. More insights and freakouts about just how fabulous it was later.