Mourning the Death of Gentleman Jack

Sorrow is in the hearts of all who have ever enjoyed an evening (or a lifetime, whatever) with JD, this week. A few of the "researchers" at the distilleries in Lynchburg came to the conclusion that people wanted a less potent whiskey, 80 proof to be exact. I haven't heard something so ridiculous since Vanilla Ice tried to turn himself into a hardcore gangsta rapper. If you want a less potent whiskey, drink Vodka, douchebags. Strangely enough, this isn't the first assault on the 138 year old Tennessee elixer. Originally, Jack Daniels was 90 proof. But this latest attack brings old John down to the level of such rot gut as Jaquins and my personal favorite gasoline substitute, Wolfschmidtz. I'd like to know who these people are who want a less potent Jack. I'd like to get really drunk and scream at them for hours (a skill for which I'm known far and wide) and then send them to Florida where they'll spend the rest of their pathetic lives at Ft. Clinch. They're probably in cahoots with the people who want to ban foie gras in Cali. I'm talking to you Mr. McCartney. Way beyond busted.